Barbenheimer's Unwanted Child: What the Hell Is Wonkpoleon and What's Wrong with It?
Oppenheimer and Barbie are not even out yet and someone already tries to create a new Frankenstein monster that’s both unnecessary and unjustified on every level.
The reason why Greta Gerwig’s Barbie and Christopher Nolan’s Oppenheimer are to be released on the same day is rooted in petty revenge from Warner Bros. who’s trying to punish director Nolan for leaving them for Universal Pictures. Despite such a lame origin, this double feature gave birth to something truly beautiful.
Barbenheimer is a double-edged sword. On one hand, it’s a meme that mashes together two polar opposites; on the other hand, it’s a community of people who refuse to take part in the studios’ petty wars and want to appreciate both movies. Over 20 thousand Barbenheimer enjoyers booked their double-feature tickets for the same day by this Monday — and counting.
Barbenheimer has quite a few reasons to exist; its alleged successor doesn’t.
Some Twitter users tried to force a new mash-up of the upcoming late-year releases, Wonka and Napoleon. They called the abomination they created “Wonkpoleon.”
Now, this thing here makes zero sense.
First of all, these movies don’t even come out on the same day, so unlike Barbenheimer, there’s no double feature there: Wonka will release on December 15, and Napoleon will hit the theaters on November 22. There are more than three weeks between the movies — what are you even talking about?
Second of all, they are not quite as opposite as Barbie and Oppenheimer. A bright-pink doll tale and an existential biopic about the creator of the first nuclear bomb are placed as far from each other on the spectrum as it gets; Wonka and Napoleon seemingly fit the same criteria — but they’re not that antagonized.
Third of all, it would be a massive stretch to assume that either of the Wonkpoleon features is as hyped and largely anticipated as either of the Barbenheimer’s. Both Chalamet and Phoenix’s movies just had their trailers dropped, and be real with us: have you ever heard about that from anyone other than us in this article?
Also, Wonkpoleon isn’t even the best name for this double feature (if it was a double feature, that is). In the comment section, there are a bunch of way better suggestions, and our favorite is definitely Napoleonka — it has a nice ring to it.
But all of that doesn’t matter: the new mash-up was ultimately doomed the day it was born, so whether you call this ship Wonkpoleon or Napoleonka, it’s still sinking.