5 Harry Potter Innuendos That Only Adults Understand, Ranked

5 Harry Potter Innuendos That Only Adults Understand, Ranked
Image credit: Warner Bros.

J.K. Rowling has slipped a few double entendres in Harry Potter, and we bet you haven’t noticed!

Here are five R-rated jokes included in the Harry Potter books.

5. Hermione: “Some wizards just like to boast that theirs [wands] are bigger and better than other people’s.”

OK, Hermione is most definitely talking about wands and nothing else, or is she? This line sounds a lot funnier to an adult’s ear, and it works perfectly as a reference to toxic masculinity (some men really are obsessed with their “wands” being bigger and better, you know).

4. Dumbledore: “My own brother, Aberforth, was prosecuted for practicing inappropriate charms on a goat.”

While readers never do find out what kind of spells Aberforth has performed, this suggestion is on another level of dirty! Rowling herself hasn’t explained what she meant by this line, but in one interview, she admitted feeling glad that “the joke worked on many levels.” Is Harry Potter even a children’s series?

3. Ron: “Can I look at Uranus, too, Lavender?”

5 Harry Potter Innuendos That Only Adults Understand, Ranked - image 1

In one of the Divination classes, Lavender notices an unusual planet in her chart, and Ron seems surprisingly excited about it too. This pun is comedic gold, especially considering that Ron and Lavender would later be dating. Maybe she has shown Ron her “chart” eventually!

2. Ron: “You’d be surprised, it’s not all about wandwork, either.”

Ron truly has some of the best lines in the entire saga. He gives Harry a book called Twelve Fail-Safe Ways to Charm Witches and explains how much it has helped him in the dating department. Bonus point: Fred and George were the ones who gifted it to Ron in the first place! Anyway, isn’t it nice of Ron to assure Harry that his “wandwork” isn’t the only thing that matters to girls?

1. Harry: “What d’you do, sneak up here in the evenings to watch the Prefects take baths?” Myrtle: “Sometimes, but I’ve never come out to speak to anyone before.”

Are we all going to ignore the fact that Myrtle is the biggest pervert ghost in the books (possibly, ever)? So it’s Harry Potter canon that Moaning (a very appropriate name in this context, by the way) Myrtle just casually peeks at naked Prefects, and everyone is OK with it. Imagine if she was a boy ghost… This would never fly!