Game of Thrones' Emilia Clarke: 'I Wasn't Afraid of Dying, I Was Afraid of Being Fired!'
Even after her first aneurysm when she could have died, the only thing Game of Thrones star Emilia Clarke cared about was her performance in the show.
Summary:
- Emilia Clarke suffered two brain aneurysms when starring in Game of Thrones.
- Despite having a close brush with death, Clarke only cared about not losing her role in the show.
- It took a lot of time for the actress to get over her post-aneurysm trauma and believe in herself again.
Game of Thrones used to be the most popular show on the planet, and during its peak days, it launched numerous acting careers. Few people benefitted from being part of Game of Thrones as much as Kit Harrington and Emilia Clarke: the two lead actors who used to be unknown before the show became global stars overnight.
Emilia Clarke, in particular, became the world’s sweetheart thanks to her portrayal of Daenerys Targaryen, the exiled (or self-proclaimed, depending on who you ask) Queen of Westeros with way more titles than we care to list. At first glance, Clarke only won from being on the show; but things were not so good behind the scenes.
The actress almost died when shooting Game of Thrones.
What Happened with Emilia Clarke’s Health?
During her time on Game of Thrones, the Daenerys Targaryen actress survived two brain aneurysms. She was diagnosed with a subarachnoid hemorrhage: an internal bleeding around the brain. This condition causes immediate death or severe incapacitation for most people suffering from it, and she survived it — twice.
Against all odds, Emilia Clarke could continue living like she used to, with almost no limitations. Seeing how the majority of people who have aneurysms die or lose crucial abilities, she was incredibly lucky to keep going relatively unscathed. But at the time, Clarke didn’t care about her health despite the aneurysms.
The only thing she was worried about was her job at Game of Thrones.
What Did Emilia Clarke Say About Her Aneurysms?
Even in the face of death or incapacitation, the Daenerys Targaryen actress was terrified for a different reason: she thought that she would be fired from Game of Thrones because of her condition.
“I wasn’t afraid of dying. I was afraid of being fired! I decided, ‘This is not something that’s going to define me.’ I never gave into any feeling of ‘Why me? This sucks.’ I was just like, ‘Gotta get back on it,’” Emilia Clarke shared with Harper’s Bazaar.
The young actress thought that her aneurysms could become a dealbreaker for the showrunners or the audience. She decided to keep her health condition a secret so that no one would judge her based on her problems. Clarke was…ashamed of them.
“If I’m being brutally honest, the whole thing made me feel very ashamed, like I was broken. As though the producers must think I’m an unreliable person that they’ve hired,” the actress explained.
How Did Emilia Clarke’s Life Change After Two Aneurysms?
As previously stated, the Game of Thrones star got incredibly lucky: the hemorrhages didn’t cause her brain irreparable damage…that would be noticeable, anyway. She’s still able to live like before, but parts of her brain are still dead now.
“I physically don’t have a lot of my brain. If you look at my brain scans, there are a lot of black parts, and that is where it’s dead. <...> Half my brain is gone. So what is gone with it? I was obsessed with the idea that it was my ability to act,” Clarke said.
It was clearly a terribly mentally taxing experience for Emilia Clarke. As if to reassure the readers that she was fine already, the actress immediately threw in a joke.
“Some might argue that that was correct! But I don’t know what’s gone. And that plagued me for a really long time. It’s taken me a decade to understand that where I am now, and my identity, is a result of my experiences,” Clarke explained.
Source: Harper’s Bazaar