I Watched Marvel’s 'Fantastic Four: First Steps' — And Nearly Slept Through the Explosions

Let’s be honest — I didn’t go into Fantastic Four: First Steps expecting a plot that would blow my mind. I was there for the aesthetic, the vibe, the retrofuturism they promised. And yes, to see Pedro Pascal playing yet another cosmic daddy figure.

Spoiler alert: he’s fine. He’s good. But after a dozen similar roles, the impact's just not there anymore.

So what actually worked?

The visuals. Galactus’ ship is a full-on art installation. The interiors look like something straight out of a Dua Lipa video from a 70s-themed alternate timeline — and honestly, I loved that.

Plus, thank god it’s not another destroyed New York. A new universe feels like a fresh start, even if it’s only background deep.

And now, the long list of what didn’t:

– The heroes? Dumber than expected. One’s screaming, another’s lost in space, the third vanishes mid-scene — and I genuinely didn’t know who I was supposed to root for.

– Zero chemistry. It felt like each actor filmed their lines on a green screen… in a different country.

– Action? Meh. They gave these characters all sorts of powers just to choreograph "one punch = one KO" scenes. This is Marvel. It’s 2025. Do better.

– Silver Surfer was set dressing. Cool to look at, but did he do anything?

– And yeah, Pedro Pascal is great, but he’s officially in my overexposure zone. Let the man rest. And let us watch someone else for a change.

And Galactus?

Galactus is like an ex: massive, dramatic, and ultimately disappointing. He looked scarier in the teaser poster than he ever did on screen.