"Oh, It’s Just Luck": Why You Can’t Take a Compliment and How to Stop Deflecting Praise
One of the simplest solutions here is, well, to start offering your compliments to the others.
In the modern world where the race for success never stops, it’s very easy to feel like you aren’t good enough to eventually turn your biggest ambitions into reality. This creates a whole set of problems for our mind, including the low self-esteem that often affects the way we communicate with other people.
While some easily accept flattering compliments without having a single doubt about their plausibility, others struggle to believe that all the good things other people say about them are actually true. However, psychologists say there are several ways to finally become open to compliments.
Don’t Let Yourself Doubt a Compliment’s Credibility
The first thing you need to do is to realize that, if someone pays attention to your achievements or positive traits, there’s no reason to not believe them. The person complimenting you does so genuinely, though somehow you prefer denying their admiration.
Don’t Be Too Humble
It’s not uncommon for people to not believe compliments because they consider themselves not worth it. However, such an opinion about yourself can significantly harm your self-esteem, so make sure you learn how to accept praise and actually believe it. For doing so, you also have to acknowledge your own worth and merits.
Pay Attention to Your Reaction to Compliments
If you can only say phrases like “Come on” or “You shouldn’t say this” to someone praising you, this signals some trouble with your self-esteem. Make sure you thank the person complimenting you and confirm their words in some way, at least by mentioning that you’re pleased to hear such kind words about yourself.
Learn to Read Non-Verbal Signs From Other People
Sometimes compliments are not just pleasing words, but people’s tone of voice, gazes and gestures towards you. If you learn to see those signs of other people’s attraction, it will become extremely easy to see whether the praise is genuine or not.
Start Making Compliments in Return
This is probably one of the most effective methods to create the right atmosphere and feel more relaxed while accepting someone else’s praise. Make sure you find something worth praising in another person, even if you wouldn’t have thought about it in the first place.
