Stop Being Your Own Worst Enemy: A Psychologist’s Guide to Silencing Your Harsh Inner Critic

Apart from other people around who form our self-esteem, we also happen to have an inner voice that keeps telling us we aren’t pretty enough or aren’t good enough at this or that. When a difficult time comes, this inner voice becomes even harsher, threatening to completely destroy the vision of our value that we’ve been building all along.

Still, even in cases like this it’s more than possible to make peace for yourself and calm your inner critic down, changing the perspective and seeing this as a helping voice rather than an enemy.

Realize Your Inner Voice Is Trying to Protect You

Though this thought might have never occurred in most of people’s mind, it’s pretty clear to psychologists that the inner critic is nothing but a mechanism meant to protect you from others’ negative opinions.

For instance, if a child is scolded by an adult, most likely the child’s mind has already predicted what the latter will be saying just to make it less painful for the kid at the moment. This way, our psyche finds ways to make a lesser impact and even do some good to self-esteem.

Suffering Isn’t an Option

To some, getting into depression mode seems like the most certain way to become clear of negative thoughts about themselves, though it actually implies that you’re making it even worse for your relationship with the inner critic.

Every good communication needs a dialogue, so try imagining your inner voice as a physical essence and talking to it as if it were your good friend that is going through tough times.

Don’t Be Too Kind to Yourself

Remember that there should be an equilibrium in everything, including your self-esteem, otherwise you won’t notice how you’ve turned into a condescending person that thinks high only about themselves.

Don’t criticize yourself too much, but also make sure you follow some strict rules, and at times like this your inner critic’s voice is louder than usual. Interestingly enough, this is when you’ll feel like you grow and learn how to get out of your comfort zone.

Remember That You Control Your Inner Voice

Though at times it doesn’t seem so, your inner critic is actually one of many of your mind’s tricky schemes that are completely under your control.

To make it clearer, imagine yourself as a company’s CEO while your inner voice is an initiative employee that keeps bringing you new ideas, whether they’re good or bad. All you can do here is to promise that you’ll consider those and let the employee go, later deciding whether those ideas are actually worth it.