The Bitter Truth About "Chemistry": Why We Chase the Partners We Can’t Have
Luckily, psychologists have already come up with an efficient method to battle unreciprocated feelings.
Human mind sometimes can be a bit irrational when it comes to certain feelings, and in most cases it’s directly connected to romantic relationships. Even those who have never experienced it themselves know that it’s not rare when someone tries hard to get another person’s attention, but instead receives a cold shoulder.
As many experts now claim, things like this happen because our mind sabotages our own mental health, confusing possible emotional pain with the anticipation of getting the attention of the person we have feelings for.
Why Do We Chase Those That Don’t Want Us?
According to many experts, chasing the feeling of constant rejection is a consequence of the dopamine trap that the nature originally meant for hunters.
Specifically, once you see clearly that the person you have feelings for reacts to your approaches in a pretty indifferent way, it makes you crave for what you want even more, with your mind perceiving the entire situation as kind of an obstacle you need to go through.
What’s more, scientists claim that prolonged process of chasing someone who doesn’t want you eventually leads to the game addiction effect: the more subtle signs of attention and then rejections you get, the more you’re stuck in this emotional roller coaster.
How to Get Rid of Chasing Addiction?
Just like with any other psychological problem, you need to first realize that it’s you who should handle the situation and the person you have feelings for won’t help you anyway.
Then, psychologists say you opt for a technique usually referred to as conscious choice: act against your own feelings. For instance, if you feel like you want to text the one you’re trying to chase, just say no to your heart and text your friend instead.
Also, remember that healthy romantic relationships should be something associated with nervous condition and weakness in the knees; quite the reverse, once you find the right person for yourself, you’ll know that from feeling calm and relaxed.
