The Criticism Trap: Why Other People’s Opinions Are Ruining Your Confidence (And How to Stop It Today)
The best hack is to make the criticism work for you and not against.
One of the biggest paradoxes of our mind is that, despite containing the word “self”, our self-esteem is often formed under the influence of our surrounding. Being a subjective evaluation of our merits and achievements, it can have a different impact on a person’s life and is able to make things better or just destroy them.
Either way, self-esteem has a direct connection to criticism, which can also be constructive or destructive. For this criticism to help you grow and become a better version of yourself, you need to learn how to see your value independently from other people’s opinions.
How to React to Someone Else’s Criticism?
Before you start overthinking about something negative that another person told you about yourself, make sure you analyze the whole situation. Don’t interrupt them and let the person finish their speech, then decide for yourself whether they’re in fact competent enough to let you know about their opinion.
Next, define the criticism’s motivation: if you feel like the person is trying to help you out and their opinion can be useful for you in the future, then this is constructive criticism; in other cases, just don’t take it seriously.
Lastly, don’t be afraid of asking follow-up questions (if the ideas this person offers you are in fact good, accept the criticism with gratitude) and disagreeing with your opponent if you feel like their opinion about you is entirely wrong.
How to Make the Criticism Work for You and Not Against?
The first thing you need to remember is that it’s you who knows the real value of yourself and not others. The better you demonstrate your capability of seeing your own merits, the more other people will try to refute them. In these cases, learn how to not react emotionally and see the criticism as a way to understand how exactly people perceive you and whether you can use their opinion as a boost for your personal growth.
Another solution is to try to see the criticism in a more humorous way, since it will be much easier for you to stop taking it as the most solid truth.
Finally, if you happen to offer your own criticism to someone else, make sure you consider only that person’s actions and not personal traits.
