Who You Would Be in The Handmaid's Tale According to Your Zodiac
The stars align over the Republic of Gilead.
Ever wondered which character from the chilling dystopia of "The Handmaid's Tale" you'd be?
Aries (March 21 – April 19): June Osborne (Offred)
If you're an Aries, you're June Osborne, no doubt about it. A fiery starter of the zodiac, your journey is about as intense as a sprint through a minefield. Picture this: You're in a world where fertility rates have plummeted and you, June, are among the few women who can still conceive. Pretty valuable, right? You bet. You're snatched away from your family and given one purpose: to bear children for the elite. But you're no docile lamb; you've got that Aries fight. You become Offred and wear red, but that's not just a color – it's a warning. With every step, you're dodging danger, forming alliances, and making some gutsy moves.
Leo (July 23 – August 22): Serena Joy Waterford
As a Leo, you crave the spotlight, and Serena, she's a fallen starlet of the fundamentalist regime. Once a powerhouse of a woman with a flair for public speaking, now she's relegated to the domestic sphere – but with an iron will and designer gowns, because style never dies, honey. Her life's about as turbulent as a reality show – think political power plays in the morning and black-market bartering by night. As Serena, you're grappling with a burning desire to be a mother in a society that has twisted that very instinct into a tool of oppression.
Capricorn (December 22 – January 19): Commander Fred Waterford
Capricorns, you get the dubious honor of stepping into the shoes of Commander Fred Waterford. Now, this guy is a piece of work. He's the architect of this new world where women are property, and as a Capricorn, you'd understand his drive for success – though let's hope not his methods. The Commander is a wolf in sheep's clothing, using his power to manipulate and control. He's got that creepy charm that lets him get away with – well, a lot.
Aquarius (January 20 – February 18): Moira
Aquarians, meet your match in Moira. She's the definition of not giving a flying fig about what she's "supposed" to do. Stuck in this horrifying future, she's a handmaid like June but with an escape plan that's as bold as your Aquarian ideals. She almost makes it to freedom, only to end up in Jezebel's, forced into another kind of servitude. But Moira's spirit? Unbreakable, never losing hope or that fire that makes her an Aquarius through and through.
Scorpio (October 23 – November 21): Aunt Lydia
Scorpios, you've drawn Aunt Lydia, and she's one complex cookie. If there was ever a personification of 'tough love,' she's it – if by 'love,' we mean zealously indoctrinating women into subservience. She's the kind of aunt you'd never want to visit, with her cattle prods and ruthless discipline. Scorpios, you're all about intensity, and Aunt Lydia is nothing if not intense. Her ability to read people and manipulate their emotions? It's downright Scorpio-esque.
Pisces (February 19 – March 20): Nick Blaine
Pisces, meet Nick Blaine. He's the quiet guy leaning against the wall at a party, but don't let his silent demeanor fool you. There's a storm of thoughts raging in that mind. As the Waterford's driver, he's seen things, things that would make a weaker man crumble. But Nick's got that Piscean resilience, coupled with a deep, if somewhat murky, sense of right and wrong. What's more important is his role in the resistance, passing on information and risking his neck every day. That's a Piscean kind of bravery, driven by feeling rather than logic.
Cancer (June 21 – July 22): Janine Lindo (Ofwarren)
Cancerians, you've got the heart-rending Janine Lindo, or Ofwarren, as she's known in Gilead. If ever there was someone who didn't deserve the hand she was dealt, it's Janine. But, oh, does she deal with it. She's a survivor, clinging to sanity by a thread while her world demands her baby and her subservience. Remember the time she stood on that bridge, baby in arms, threatening to jump because it seemed the only way out? That raw, maternal instinct – that's pure Cancer.
Virgo (August 23 – September 22): Emily Malek (Oflgen)
Virgos, your zodiac match is the quiet rebel, Emily Malek. She's the one you don't see coming, the one who's always watching, always planning. She's been through the wringer, suffered losses that would break anyone. But Emily? She's got that Virgo grit. When she's not plotting an act of resistance, she's being the epitome of the compliant handmaid, and that takes some doing. It's that mix of calculation and sudden action that makes her so compelling – and so Virgo.
Taurus (April 20 – May 20): Rita
Sturdy Tauruses, you've got Rita. If Gilead ever had an unsung hero, it's her. She's the Martha who's more than just a domestic servant in the Waterford household. She's seen some things, and she's endured a lot, all with that Taurus steadiness. There's a moment when Rita's loyalty to the Waterfords is overtaken by her moral compass, leading her to make choices that risk her safety for the greater good. Rita embodies the quiet strength of a Taurus, providing silent but essential support to the resistance.
Libra (September 23 – October 22): Luke Bankole
Luke Bankole is the guy waiting on the other side of the border, hoping against hope that his wife and daughter are still out there, still alive. Luke's not a fighter, not really, but he's a supporter, a lifeline to those who've managed to escape. His dedication to reuniting with June, maintaining his faith and morality amidst the chaos, speaks volumes to the Libran desire for justice and harmony. Whether he's organizing protests or sending secret messages, Luke's actions scream Libra.
Gemini (May 21 – June 20): Alma
Geminis, you get Alma, the handmaid with a talent for being in two places at once – at least, metaphorically. She's part of Mayday, the underground resistance, and she's got that Gemini knack for communicating, for sharing information right under the noses of those who'd see her silenced. Her adaptability is phenomenal, managing to convey so much with just a look or a subtle nod. That's Gemini versatility at its best.
Sagittarius (November 22 – December 21): Commander Joseph Lawrence
Sagittarians, your kindred spirit in Gilead is Commander Joseph Lawrence. He's an enigma, a man whose motives are as broad as your typical Sagittarian's horizons. He's got his fingers in so many pies, it's hard to tell where his loyalties truly lie. He helps Emily escape, revealing a penchant for bending the rigid rules of Gilead in a very Sagittarius-like quest for what is right. With him, it's a complex moral calculus, the kind that Sagittarians find absolutely invigorating.