Gold Forks and Broken Hearts: AI Predicts Fiona’s Alternate Fairytale Without Shrek
Thank God we won’t have to see that.
I’ll be honest — I’ve never trusted Prince Charming. And after seeing what AI thinks Fiona’s life would’ve been like if she’d picked him over Shrek, I’m even more convinced: thank the swamp gods she didn’t.
Imagine it — a kingdom all polished marble and polite misery. Sure, Fiona would’ve worn gowns laced with pearls, but she’d still be under a curse, because — let’s face it — real love isn’t about shiny hair or royal titles. It’s about soul.
And Charming? He’s all sparkle, zero substance. The emotional equivalent of a golden mannequin.
A Crowned Prison
In this alt-fairy tale, Fiona lives in a palace that looks perfect but feels like a cage. No mud pies, no spider-pie dinners, no swampy chaos. Just balls, speeches, forced smiles. She's queen — but of what, exactly? A kingdom where she doesn’t belong?
Kids? Maybe. Flawless little royals with perfect posture and rehearsed charm. But not the wild, muddy, giggling crew we loved in Shrek 2. This is a life with tiaras but no joy.
Meanwhile, Prince Vain…
As for Charming, AI suggests he’d be too busy flirting with Cinderella or flexing in a mirror whispering, "You’re gorgeous." Fiona? Left alone at long dinners, twirling gold forks and wondering what she gave up.
We asked AI to visualise this alternate ending. It gave us crystal chandeliers, perfect curls, and Fiona’s eyes — filled with quiet heartbreak.
But Let’s Be Real…
Could this version of Shrek have worked? Possibly. But would it have taught us the same lesson? Never. Only Shrek, with his muddy hugs, weird meals, and loyal Donkey, reminded us that real love isn’t about castles. It’s about finding your swamp — and the one who’ll dance in it with you.
